S12 Ep. 4 / How to Set Boundaries: Step-by-Step
We might stumble. We might misspeak. But by setting boundaries, we’re choosing love, wisdom, and peace for our relationships.
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For the full unedited transcript from this episode, click here.
Talk about having boundaries is everywhere… it’s all around us in our culture! But how do we actually walk out having boundaries with wisdom and love in real-life situations with real-life people? It’s easy to talk about hypothetical boundaries and frameworks for setting them…until a real person is standing in front of us, waiting for us to share our boundary.
Once we realize we need to set a boundary, the next step is planning. Before going through the motions to set the boundary, determine a simple boundary and a simple way to set it. Start small and remember that the relationship won’t be fixed in one conversation or with one boundary. Then remember to give grace for the inevitable missteps and discomfort.
Setting boundaries is a new skill, one that will feel uncomfortable when we start. Imagine a toddler who’s just learned to walk. She’ll stumble and fall and step on people’s toes. That’s how most of us will feel when we present a boundary.
By creating a boundary, we’re not trying to change another person. We’re changing the dynamics of a relationship and what we will tolerate. We’re choosing love and wisdom in our own lives and providing an opportunity for a loved one to do the same in new ways.
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